Hello old friend! Let’s talk about stressors. And no, I don’t mean stressors like living through pandemics, a “generational snow storm,” a new born, a new marriage, and job changes for both spouses concurrently. (I quote text because I have serious doubts that this is a once in a generation snow storm. Do you know how many “generational” hurricanes have hit the gulf coast in the past 15 years? Storms are getting more violent. Climate change is real. But I digress) Last night Allison was talking about feeling on edge and overwhelmed with her school and having to do everything else to maintain the house while I was at work and I started thinking about my time in PT school.
It was the spring of 2015. I was in my third semester of PT school. I had survived a scare of potentially failing out in the previous semester and had now hit my groove. I was not in any danger of academic probation and only had ten days to go until I had two weeks of freedom. The problem was that within those ten days I had to take nine finals (four practical, five written) give two presentations, and turn in a paper. I’d love to sit here and detail you with all the trials and tribulations that I had to go through in order to make it through the other side alive, but there’s no way I could. The truth is, it was a hectic blur of lost sleep, caffeine, studying at every available waking moment — including while walking to and from class — and me “quitting” school unofficially at least once a day. Under better course management I may have allocated my time better in the weeks before, but honestly, those weeks were filled with other tests, assignments, and bull that made it impossible to ever feel ahead of the curve.
What I DO remember from those ten days was the importance of breathing. Sometimes life doesn’t give you lemons so much as it pelts you with lemons while you’re desperately just trying to keep your head afloat and not drown. And yeah, sometimes those lemons hit you in the face and bust open and then you have lemon juice in your eyes. And it sucks. And those are the times you have to just breathe, focus on priorities and knock things out as they come. For me, it was to look ahead and say “which class am I most set in my grade?” If I had say an 85 in a class, then there’s a pretty solid chance I was getting a B. But if I had an 89 and was able to bump it up a bit to possibly get an A? Yeah let’s focus on that class. Or more importantly, if I had an 81 and was in danger of slipping to a C, let’s DEFINITELY focus on that one to make sure the GPA didn’t dip. The sun came up, the sun went down, life moved on, and the exams all went away.
There are some people that thrive under massive to-do lists and pressure. There’s something to being so busy that you aren’t able to let up to the point that it forces you to be productive. And a part of me sympathizes to that. Not a big part mind you, more like how your big toe is a part of your entire body. Even so, you need time to breathe and decompress. I wrote earlier that I was studying every waking minute, but I know that I always allowed myself a moment to breathe for at least half an hour every day when I got home. And I always allowed myself to enjoy the sun and my classmates every lunch period. Because really, we were the ones that kept each other’s sanity throughout not just that 10 day stretch but through the entire three years. When I had to retake a practical and was in jeopardy of failing out I had at least three classmates tell me I wasn’t allowed to fail out because I did too much to help my classmates relax and remember not to take things so seriously.
The best feeling that semester was being done. Walking out of that final exam, knowing we were going to Chimy’s that night to drink some beers and let the last semester wash away. That semester was so taxing that I ended up driving solo to Oakland just to get away from school for a bit. In a cruel twist of symbolism, San Marcos itself got washed away a week later in another “generational” storm of flooding. But life moved on, we recovered, and began another step of our journey together. That semester is the reason I realized I needed a dog. That dog is what led me (in part) to Allison. And I’ll be there to help Allison through this trying time in life. At the very least, I’ll help you to remember to breathe.
