Dearly Beloved, We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life
Over the weekend Allison and I got around to watching Soul, a delightful story from Pixar about finding yourself and understanding your purpose and meaning in this grand journey we call life. Essentially, the protagonist Joe is a middling middle school band teacher searching for his big break as a jazz pianist. When Joe finally gets the call to have an opportunity to prove himself, he falls through a manhole and is called to the great beyond. Fearing that he won’t get his opportunity, Joe fights through a glitch in the system essentially and gets transported to the great before, where future newborns find their personality and their “spark” before getting their earth pass to begin their life in the physical world. Joe ends up as a mentor to “22” a soul that is afraid of entering the world because they aren’t sure if it’s worth it to enter into an imperfect world and to face the daily struggles we all deal with on a daily basis.
It’s been interesting to me over the past year as Allison has gone from her final trimester to us becoming parents. My point of view has shifted when I watch movies and I focus more on the parents. I understand much more how my dad cries when he watches Rudolph and they get to the island of misfit toys. And I see 22’s role now through the eyes of Reese and how I imagine she is to find her way and her personality in this world. When we first met Joe in the movie, he was struggling with his purpose, holding onto a dream, but stuck and unsure of how to best realize his dreams. And while I never have felt that to an extreme, it’s certainly a feeling I am familiar with, most notably in my call center and green collar days, where I recognized that I was not doing what I wanted to do professionally, but I couldn’t figure out how to get out into the world and push forward. It was only until I was fired and forced into finding a different path that I found more of my voice and perceived purpose.
But the timing of the movie was interesting. Thanks to Allison’s post the other day regarding slope and learning, I have a newfound inspiration to continue to seek new learning, new opportunities. Truthfully, Allison sparked this in December talking about potentially moving to London. Just by pursuing that, it was like a new spark was energized within me. The adventurous, untethered spark. It’s why in the past month I’ve tried to push myself to attempt new things in the kitchen, or why I’ve been working out more. I want to be able to grow and do a handstand. To re-learn how to do a backflip, to be able to run 2 miles in 12 minutes.
And then I watched Spark. I really want to be able to play the Piano competently. But I’m afraid of judgement in practicing. Ideally, I need to get an electric keyboard so I can practice silently before being able to put it out to the world. I want to get better at building things, particularly in making joints for wood to fit together better and have a cooler, more custom built feel to it all. I’d love to get back to playing trombone too (though there are no electric trombones to practice on). And then there are untold ambitions that I’ve never talked to anyone about. And I doubt these would come to fruition. But I keep looking at politicians in Washington and thinking “come on…these people are getting elected? Couldn’t someone else do a better job?” There’s a quote I’m reminded of often when I have these thoughts. “Someone is going to do the job you want to do. So it might as well be you.” And then I realize that while I may not necessarily want to be a politician, if enough people like me don’t do it…someone has to do it, and it will fall to people whose interests aren’t in the right spot. And it’s not that I want to be a politician. I don’t. But I do want to be a positive change. It’s why I became a physical therapist. But if I became something more in the public sector, I could help to make change on a macro level.
In Soul, it was only with the help of 22 that Joe realized that the spark of life was to appreciate the world itself and the family and friends around you. Hold your family ties close because those are the longest relationships you have. Don’t overlook the subtle beauty and magic of the world around you. The city isn’t gross, it’s full of wonder and achievements. And it is full of conflict and troubles, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t without solution. Thanks to the movie, and especially thanks to pushes that I don’t even know if Allison realized, I feel invigorated to at the very least to continue to grow and improve. Because, what I ultimately realized at the end of the movie, is that my spark is actually becoming a full reality. And that’s to be a husband and a father. I want to continue to grow because I want Reese to see that she can always pick up new things and can always grow to fulfill her promise. And I want to be the guiding and supporting light that helps Allison achieve everything that she wants to. And if I can help to inspire people and to make lives better along the way, and maybe be able to do a backflip along the way, then that’s the gravy on top.
